Rayのドイツ音楽留学レポート【第36回】日本が恋しくなったら


2022年1月8日

こんにちは、Rayです。私はドイツで音楽の勉強をしている大学院生で、オーボエという楽器を専攻しています。

新年を迎え、皆様はいかがお過ごしでしょうか。12月の間コンサートやその他の予定で忙しくしていた日々が落ち着き、私は数日前まで多少の疲れとともにホームシックと日本ロスを感じていました。去年の年始を思い返すと、同じように1月2日から約1週間ほど今年以上に落ち込み、その間は楽器の練習にも身が入らなかったことを覚えています。

そこで今回は一人暮らし大学院生が日本から遠く離れた地でどのようにホームシックに対処しているのか、私の場合を挙げてみます。

なぜ今ホームシックを感じるのか

私は、クリスマス当日、翌日と元日から数日間が一年の中で一番ホームシックを感じやすい時期だと思っています。なぜなら、学校やスーパーなどが閉まるため街が静かになる、家にいる時間が多くなる、そして冬至直後で夜の時間が長いからです。

そもそも、日々の活動に忙しい時期、自分も周りもなんだかんだと動き回っている場合は、あまり日本のことを気にかけている暇はありません。

ですがドイツではクリスマスに家族集まって過ごす習慣があるため、周りの友達は続々と帰省していきます。レッスンや授業もない冬休みに入ると、練習するために学校に来ても廊下ですれ違う人が日に日に減っていき、さみしさ満点です。

しまいには、クリスマスと年末年始は数日間ずつ学校やスーパーなど街のほぼすべてがお休みになり、学校に行くことも気晴らしに買い物することもできず、自分一人で過ごす時間が増えます。その結果、日本に帰れない寂しさと過去に過ごした日本での冬休み、お正月を思い出し、約15~16時間も続く夜にホームシックを感じてしまうのです。

加えて、12月初旬から次々と演奏会や特別講習会などの中止連絡を受けることになり、そのやるせなさもホームシックの原因の一つです。現在のドイツでは新型コロナウイルス感染者数が増加していて、州ごとに決まっていく制限が厳しくなってきました。他の街では来場者数の制限をはじめ様々な制限はありつつも演奏会は開催されていたそうで、なぜ私のいる州だけ演奏会が中止になってしまったのだろう、と残念に思わずにはいられませんでした。

しかたがないと諦める

そうして一人でいる時間が増え、悲しい気持ちになることが増えてしまいますが、去年も今年もそうだったので、私はホームシックを感じる気持ちを受け入れて、「だって良くない条件が重なるんだもん、しかたがない。」と諦めることにしました。そして今はクリスマス休暇が明けて学校の授業も再開し、ホームシックになる暇がない忙しい日々に戻っています。

食べる、そして寝る

まず私が気を付けるのは、悲しくても食事を適当にせず、きちんと食べる、そして十分寝ることです。

普段から自炊してなんちゃって日本の家庭料理を作っているので、それを続けます。

私は見た目の素敵な凝った料理はできませんが、煮物やバター醬油の炒め物、お味噌汁とご飯などを作ります。他にはマグカップに卵を割り入れ、黄身に穴をあけ、卵がかぶるくらいの水を入れて電子レンジ弱めで様子を見ながら1分加熱するだけでできる温泉卵風のものは、醤油をかけてそのまま食べても何か他の料理に乗せてもとりあえず日本風になる気がしています。

また、日本から持ってきた乾燥納豆をたまにつまんでいるほか、料理が本当に面倒だと思ったときには日本食ストックから混ぜるだけパスタソースを取り出して懐かしの明太子スパゲッティを堪能します。

そして私は幸い、しっかり寝さえすれば翌朝は悲しい気持ちも心配事もどこかに行ってしまうタイプなので、夜はできるだけ早めに寝ます。

落ち込んだときにも、なるべく普通に生活するように努めています。

友達とパーティーする

友達の持ってきたトランプで大富豪をしました。ジブリはここドイツでも人気です。

他には、私の中で落ち込みそうなタイミングがある程度わかっているので、その前後にできるだけ楽しいことを友達と計画できるといいなと思っています。とても幸せなことに今年は、日本の大学時代の友人が他のヨーロッパの街から北ドイツに遊びに来てくれたり、その前後は大学の友達とクリスマスパーティーや年越しパーティーをしたりしました。なので、当日だけでなくイベントの前後も準備や振り返りで忙しくすることができました。(イベントの前には楽器の練習や勉強をしっかりしておいて、イベント当日に気がかりにならないようにすることも大切な準備だと思っています。)

日本で好きだったことをしてみる

また、楽器の練習以外に日本でよく行っていたことをすることも効果があると思います。

私の大好きなハリーポッターシリーズの映画がここ1カ月ほどドイツのAmazon Prime Videoでレンタル料金なしで見ることができたので、最近よく見ていました。部屋の大掃除をしたときのBGMにもしていました。残念ながら日本語音声・字幕共にありませんが、内容は知っているので、英語またはドイツ語の勉強にしていました。

次に日本に行ったらすることを考える

日本行きの予定があってもなくても、次に日本でしたいことを想像してみることは結構慰めになると思います。例えば私は日本で黒毛和牛のすき焼きを食べたいな、実家のお風呂でゆっくりしたいなと思ってみました。

黒毛和牛のように脂がのった柔らかい肉は、ドイツではまだ入手したことがありません。さらに私の現在の家の浴室にはバスタブがないことと日本の軟水に比べてドイツの硬水に浸かっても何かが違うことから、日本のお風呂に入ったすっきり感を想像してみました。その他友達や先生方、親戚はじめお世話になった方々に会うことも想像して、それまで元気でいようと前向きな気持ちになります。

思い切って、家族・友達に電話してみる

私は家族と仲が良いので、よく電話しています。最近は、時々大学時代の友人と話したり連絡したりすることもあります。一人だと考え込んでしまいますが、話すだけですっきりすることも多いです。そして留学生活で少しだけ薄くなっていく日本との繋がりを感じられる時間でもあります。(一番感じるのは8時間の時差です!こちらのこんにちはの時間に日本に向けておやすみなさいを言うのはやっぱり奇妙な感覚です)

留学先で日本人と交流することについて

留学のコツとして「現地の日本人とは仲良くしない」という話を聞いたことがありますが、私はたくさんの在ドイツ日本人に本当にお世話になっています。

もちろん他の国の人との交流も大事ですが、留学でドイツ語の波に揉まれる中、母語である日本語で心をスムーズに伝える時間は本当に貴重です。

それから自分に降りかかる困ったことは、他の在ドイツ日本人や留学経験者が経験済みであることもあります。彼らからアドバイスをもらってトラブルを早めに解決することができたら、その時間と労力を音楽の勉強に充てることができますし、笑って過ごす時間が増えると思います。また懐かしの味が似ているので、一緒に料理して食べるだけでもほっとします。一緒にドイツ語の勉強をするのも生活の情報をシェアすることもとてもためになります。

私がドイツで出会った日本人は、苦労を乗り越えてきたゆえの親切心を持ち合わせている人ばかりです。自分一人では、ドイツに勉強の基盤を作ることも日本ロスを乗り越えて勉強に集中することも難しいことだろうなと思っています。

まとめ

クリスマスの日には、住民のみんなどこに行っちゃったの?と思うくらい閑散としていました。

年明けから続いたホームシック・日本ロスも、学校の授業が再開したり街がにぎやかになったりするにつれて少しずつ和らいでいきます。

日本の大学へは実家から通っていた私は日本でのホームシックを経験したことがないため、ドイツにいる今の状況と比較するものがありません。ですが私なりに、心が締め付けられるときに何をしたらいいかをここ数年でわかり始めました。もし読者の中に現在日本が恋しくなっている方がいれば、ここにも日本ロスで落ち込む時期のある人がいるよ、とお伝えしたいです。また、海外生活中にどうやってホームシックに対処しているか、他の人のお話も聞けたらいいなと思います。

最後までお読みいただきありがとうございました。次回は1月22日(土)に更新します。

Ray

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