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故スティーブ・ジョブス氏曰く、人生は点と点がつながり線になることの繰り返しであるが、それがどこにつながって行くのかは誰にも分からない、と言っている。

♪1 ラジオのスイッチ

私は小学校入学前から道を走る車の名前は全部答えることができた。それ程の車好きだった。それが高じて機械いじりに目覚め将来は絶対工学系にと思っていたが、小6の時に自力で組み立てたラジオのスイッチを入れた時に流れてきた赤い鳥の「竹田の子守唄」に全身鳥肌が立つ体験をして、フォークソングとギターに目覚めた。以降バンド活動に熱中し、中3の時に音楽の先生となんやかんやあって担任の先生から「おまえが音楽の先生になればいい」と勧められ、高校入学後、音楽教師を目指して勉強を始めることになる。

人生にタラレバはなしというが、完成したラジオのスイッチを入れた時に「竹田の子守唄」が流れて来なかったら、あの時の担任の先生の一言がなかったら、音楽の先生になる事など絶対になかったと思う。それらは偶然なのか必然なのかは分からないが、そのようにいくつかの点と点がつながって人生は作られて行くのは間違いないようだ。

♪2 担任の先生からの一言

中学三年の時に「こういう音楽（翼をください）は学校ではやってはいけない」という音楽の先生に反発し、だったら「おまえが音楽の先生になればいい」と気付かせてくれた当時の担任の先生も今は亡い。

その先生とは亡くなる直前まで三年に一度開催される同窓会でお会いすることができたが、会話の内容から察するに、先生の一言がきっかけで私が教員になったとは微塵にも思っていないようだった。しかし、その先生が私の運命の鍵を握る人となる伏線は以前からあった。

先生は毎日昼休みに職員室に私を呼び出し、近くのたばこ屋にお気に入りの「チェリー」というたばこを買いに行かせた。あの時はなぜいつも私なのか？と思っていたけれど、今考えると、たばこを買っていても誰にも怪しまれなさそうな、いかにも真面目で気弱そうな生徒として私が選ばれたのだと思う。それでもあの頃の自分は先生に一目置かれているんだと思うと悪い気はせず、今の時代では考えられないことだが、他言無用で毎日せっせとたばこ屋にお使いに行っていた。先生からお駄賃をいただいたことは一度もなかったが、あの一言が人生最大のお駄賃だったと思っている。

♪3 三流の人生

高校入学後、音楽教師を目指してピアノと声楽とソルフェージュと聴音の勉強を始めた。特にピアノは周りの女子高生がベートーベンだのショパンだのを弾いているのに、自分はバイエルからの出発。しかも右手と左手がどうしても同じに動いてしまう。

レッスンの先生の大きな溜息が背中から聞こえてくるが、その溜息は数ヶ月するとビンタに変わって行った。なぜ練習するのか？先生のビンタから逃れるためである。体罰が心や脳に与える影響が科学的に解明された今日、こういう指導をされる先生はいないと思うが、少なくとも私はこのおかげで急激に上達したのは間違いない。

しかし、その後あまりの厳しさと自分の無能さに高校2年の夏頃からレッスンをサボることを覚えて挫折しかけるが、今まで高いレッスン費を出してくれた親に言い出すことができず、気まずい思いで久々にレッスンに行くと、その先生から「何をしに来た！お前みたいな奴は三流の大学に行って、三流の会社に入って、三流の嫁さんをもらって、三流の人生を過ごせばいんだ！」と叱られた。

今の時代では考えられない叱責だが、自分の非を詫びレッスンを再開してもらった。後になって思えばその言葉で受けた心の傷に耐え、その時の悔しさが大きなエネルギーになり、死ぬ気で頑張ると奇跡が起こるということを大学受験で体験した。

その後の人生のいかなるピンチの時でも、高校三年間のことを思えば何でもできると自分を励まし、なんとか乗り越えることができた。今の子たちはどうやって耐性を身に付け、何をエネルギーにして頑張っているのだろうか。

それから二十年ぶりに大学の同窓会の演奏会に参加し、二次会の帰りにその先生を家までタクシーで送って行った。その時、先生から思ってもみない言葉を耳にした。「廣澤君、あの時は悪かったなあ。もうこの子は帰ってこないと思っていたよ。」その時私の口から咄嗟に出たのは「いいえ、先生のこと親父だと思っていますから」。そう言うと、先生の目から涙が溢れ出した。

♪4 阪神ファン

大変な思いをして入学できた大学だったが、合格した開放感からか高校時代に封印していたバンド活動への衝動がムラムラと湧き上がって来た。それがあの大学1年の夏に繋がって行くのだが、コンサートツアー中に入ったラーメン屋だか居酒屋でのマスターとの出会いは、とてもインパクトのあるものだった。

そのマスター、適当に注文を受けると中継している阪神タイガースの試合中、ずっと阪神の選手や監督の悪口をしゃべり続けていた。凡打すれば「何練習して来てんねん！」成績の悪い選手には「ピッチャーぶつけたれ！ヒットなん打てへんのやから！」ファインプレーしても「そんなんいらんから、もっと客を笑らかすプレーせな！」マスターの罵詈雑言は止まらない。

あまりにマスターの印象が強すぎて食べたものの記憶は何も残ってないが、店を出て喜一郎さんに「今の人、巨人ファンなんですか？」と尋ねると、「何言ってんねん！無茶苦茶熱狂的な阪神ファンやん！」と呆れられた。

阪神ファンはどんなにボロ負けしようが、阪神タイガースに落胆することはない。関西人にとって阪神タイガースは自分の息子のようなものであって、どんなにダメ息子でも見捨てることができないのだ。

たかだか一週間弱の関西旅行であったが、この時私は阪神タイガース菌に感染してしまったようで、一生阪神ファンを辞められなくなってしまった。でもこの菌に感染すると、どんなに結果が悪くても成績が悪くても落胆しないという抗体が体内にできる利点があるようだ。加えて他人の子であっても我が子のように愛を注ぐことができる。これだから阪神ファンは辞められない。

♪5 父からの教え

そんなこんなで楽しかった大学の４年間が終わろうとしていた頃、明日が卒業演奏会だというのに、珍しく父から一緒に飲もうと誘われた。毎日一緒にいるのだから何もよりによってこの日でなくてもと思ったが、きっと話したいことがあるのだろうと軽い気持ちで晩酌に付き合った。

話は私がまだ5歳になる前の、赤城山の北東にある利根村立根利中学校の生徒の話だった。山村の小さな炭焼き屋に生まれたその生徒は、中学を卒業したら父親の元で炭焼きの修行をすることになっていたので、親子ともに高校受験をする気はなく、休み時間になると校外に逃亡するのが日課の生徒だった。その度、担任だった父は周辺の山を探しては授業に連れ戻す毎日の繰り返しだった。

そして中学校を卒業して三年が過ぎようとした時、その生徒がひょっこり我が家を訪ねてきた。中学卒業後、炭焼きの修行をしてきたが、炭は焼けてもそれを売ること、お金を計算すること、書類を読むこと、書くこと、社会に出ると分からないことばかりで、父親も同じようなものなので親に教わることもできない。だから仕事が終わったら毎日先生のところに来て小学校の勉強から教わりたいと頼みに来たのだった。

そして彼は雨の日も風の日も雪の日も毎晩、山で採れた山菜を手土産に我が家にやってきた。そうして三年が過ぎ、ようやく中学校の内容の勉強が終わろうとした時、彼は倒木の下敷きになって突然若い命を落とした。

そこまで言うと父は酒の勢いもあって嗚咽とともに泣き崩れた。生まれて始めてみる父親の涙に私もつられて号泣するしかなかった。そして教え子のためなら家庭に招き入れてまで施そうとする父を誇らしく思えた。しかし、気付いたら午前2時。翌日の卒業記念演奏会は二日酔いで最悪の出来だったが、学生を卒業してプロの教員になるための父からの最高の授業だった。

♪6 吹奏楽との出会い

父親が中学校の教師で卓球の鬼だったため、小さい頃から父親の中学校の部活に連れて行かされ、100本連続スマッシュが決まるまで練習を終わりにしてもらえなかった。そういう調子だから土曜も日曜も夏休みも無く、近所の子が家族で旅行に出かけても自分にはどこかに連れて行ってもらった記憶がない。だから間違っても自分は部活キチガイの教師にだけはなるまいと心に決めていた。

大学を卒業する直前、桐生西高校から電話があり、面接をすると言うので着慣れないスーツを身にまとい校長室に入ると、開口一番「君は吹奏楽の指導ができるか？」と聞かれた。「いえ、演奏はしたことありますが指導はしたことありません」と答えると「じゃ、要らない。」…（間）…えっ！これだけ？と驚かされるが、この時期に採用が決まらないのは困るので、友だちに吹奏楽の仲間がいるので一生懸命勉強しますからとお願いしたら「じゃ、採る」とあっさり前言撤回。こんな面接ってある？

しかし、新設校だったため、楽器もなく、部員も先輩もゼロ、部費も保護者会もない。全てがゼロからのスタート。わずか8人の新入部員だけが頼り。私自身、吹奏楽経験がないのだから何かひとつ決めるにもエラく時間がかかってしまう。しかも部長は足尾の生徒。終電が早いので、問題が生じた時は足尾まで車で送りながら話をするしかない。しかし、あっという間に足尾に着いてしまい、重大事案の時は実家に泊めて話しをした。（勿論男子生徒です）

でも、駆け出しの右も左も分からない新人の先生なのに、若さ故の情熱と夢をぶつけて来る部長と過ごす時間は何より楽しかった。彼の提案により土日は親戚からミニバンを借りてきて他校と合同練習をさせてもらった。しかし、学校毎に異なる練習方法。私が指導できないから、生徒が観てきたものを話し合いながら取捨選択して練習に取り入れていた。そして彼等は一日ごとに技術的にも人間的にも成長して行った。

間違いないのは彼との出会いがなかったら、自分が吹奏楽にのめり込むことなどあり得なかったという事だ。しかも彼によって『生徒自らが考える部活動』のスタイルが形成されて行ったのだ。私は彼からそれを学び、前商でもそれを実践しただけだった。
そして父親からはニヤニヤしながら「お前も俺以上の部活キチガイになったな」と言われる始末であった。でもそうさせたのはあの部長のせいです。

♪7 シェフヒロサワの誕生

やがて勤務校が前橋商業高校に変わり、部活一辺倒の生活はますます度を増して行った。幸い奥さんが前女吹奏楽部の初代部長だったこともあり部活の大変さをよく理解していて、自分が高校時代に山本（佳弘）さんにお世話になったので今度は私がそれを返す番だと言ってくれた言葉に甘えて好き放題部活に打ち込むことができた。

ただ唯一の難点が料理に興味のない人だったため、部活が終わって遅く家に帰っても食べるものがない。仕方なく台所でごそごそと夜食を作り、朝早く起きて朝飯とお弁当を自分で作る毎日。そうすると料理の腕前は日に日に上達する。技術の向上は環境が育てるものだ。やらねばできない。やるからできる。人間だから好きとか嫌いとかあると思うけど、こんなはずじゃなかったと言うことが結果的には正解だったってことはよくある。人は変わって行くことが成長なのだ。

こういう奥さんに恵まれたおかげで、娘の高校時代はせっせと娘の弁当作りに励んだ。それを幸せと思うか不幸と思うか。でも部活の母ちゃんたちは夢を追いかける我が子の応援をする事がみんな幸せそうだった。娘のおかげで本当に子育てを楽しませて貰った。（完）

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